Naturally gifted (by Gordon and Rosemary Jones)

(Amazon UK link)

I don’t remember how or when we acquired the book ‘Naturally gifted’. But I vaguely recall that the authors, Gordon and Rosemary Jones, were giving a seminar somewhere and sold their books afterwards. I don’t know if I was there, or if it was my husband or even someone else. What I do know is that their book has been in one of our bookcases for a long time, and I haven’t read it for at least twenty years, possibly longer.

The byline or subtitle on the front says that the book is ‘a Christian perspective on personality, gifts and abilities’. That’s essentially what the book is about, summing up various ways of looking at gifts, temperament, abilities and more, from the point of view of the body of Christ. 

The first chapter talks about the importance of recognising our individuality. It examines, briefly, a few people from the Bible, some of whom were very dubious about their abilities. It also gives some brief anecdotes, describing people who feel lost, or without talent; it also mentions people who are in careers or ministries where they feel constantly stressed, or struggling in some way. 

The Enneagram: a Christian perspective (by Richard Rohr and Andreas Ebert)

(Amazon UK link)

It was a long time - over twenty years - since I read ‘The Enneagram: a Christian perspective’ by Richard Rohr and Andreas Ebert. It was one of the first books I read on the topic of the Enneagram, something I was only just beginning to explore. I had been a bit concerned about whether it was somewhat occult, to be avoided; I found the book very reassuring, if a tad heavy.

Richard Rohr is a Roman Catholic priest in the United States, and I have read some of his other books more recently. I find his writing very interesting, if sometimes a tad too intellectual, and occasionally verging on what seems, to me, almost heretical. In this book he’s teamed with Andreas Ebert who was a German Protestant pastor; so there’s some balance there.  This book was originally published in German.

The first section of the book is mainly about the historic roots of the Enneagram. The authors look at its earliest use - by Christians as well as Muslims and Pagans - and point out that it’s rooted in what Christians refer to as the seven ‘deadly sins’, with a couple of extras thrown in. They demonstrate how it’s a very useful tool in churches and other religious gatherings, and that the transformation which is enables works a lot better when God is involved.

The Five Love Languages (by Gary Chapman)

(Amazon UK link)

I last read Gary Chapman’s excellent book ‘The Five Love Languages’ about fifteen years ago. I’m quite familiar with the concepts of love languages having read several of his books, and perused his website at length. But I thought it could be interesting to re-read his original book on the topic, and see if there was anything I had forgotten.

The principles are well-known: that people have different ways of understanding what love means. Not so much the idea of ‘falling in love’, but of long-term expressions of love in a committed relationship. Examples are given of problems arising in marriages due to misunderstandings about what love means. One person, for instance, might work hard to cook, clean, and do things for their spouse, while the spouse wants to spend more time together, perhaps sitting and talking, or going for walks. If neither feels loved, their emotional ‘tanks’ will become empty and stresses will be much more difficult to handle. 

Re-reading the book was very interesting, and reminded me of several aspects of the theory which I had forgotten. The author gives plenty of anecdotes from his counselling years, with names changed of course, and explains how he gradually developed the concept of ‘love languages’. He uses that phrase because he says that, in some marriages, it’s as if one partner is expressing love in Chinese and the other in English, neither making any effort to learn the other language. 

The five love languages listed are: Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts and Words of Affirmation. Each one, the author explains, has different ‘dialects’, so two people might have the same primary love language, but use it in such different ways that they’re not meeting their partner’s needs. 

I had forgotten that, in general, children learn their first love language from a parent. It’s obvious when considering the language metaphor, and also clear that a child who feels equally loved by two parents with different ‘love languages’ may become ‘bilingual’, with two equally important ways in which they feel loved. Understanding this may help some people confirm what their main love language is, if they’re uncertain. Others, who didn’t feel loved, may have a harder time. 

However that’s not always the case, and I did remember the advice to shower children with ALL the love languages, as far as possible. And that applies to a spouse, too, although if - for instance - neither spouse is particularly bothered by gift-giving, gifts could be limited to special occasions when tradition, rather than love language calls for exchanging gifts. 

The book is very well-written, with clear examples and suggestions. Not everyone will relate to all the advice, of course, but if the author’s experience is typical, reading this book and applying some of the principles could save a lot of potential breakups, and enrich many relationships that are becoming stale. 

At the end are questionnaires, one for men and one for women, although they’re not all that different. They ask for what makes (or would make) a person feel particularly cared for. In some cases I think it’s quite hard to choose, so when I’ve gone through the questionnaire I’ve tended to check all that apply rather than choosing just one out of each pair. That’s not possible if taking the questionnaire online. 

There’s an underlying Christian focus to the book, and the assumption that the book will be read by people in a traditional marriage; but the principles could apply to any loving relationship, including non-romantic relationships such as adult children with parents or even siblings. 

Highly recommended.

Review copyright 2024 Sue's Book Reviews

The Powerful Purpose of Introverts (by Holley Gerth)

(Amazon UK link)

I don’t remember where I came across a recommendation for the book ‘The Powerful Purpose of Introverts’. It’s not the kind of title that would usually appeal to me, and I had not heard of the author, Holley Gerth. However, I must have seen something about it that persuaded me to put it on my wishlist. I was given it for Christmas, and started reading it a couple of weeks ago. 

Had I seen the subtitle when I decided I’d like this book, I might have been put off entirely. ‘Why the World needs YOU to be YOU’ is rather a scary idea. Not that I mind being me, but I’m pretty sure the world doesn’t need me at all. However, it's the only thing I didn't like The writing of the book is, in my view, excellent. I loved the style, and the information and checklists and general recommendations. The writing felt chatty, as if I were talking to a friend. I only read about ten pages per day as there was so much to think about.

The book starts with a bit of science, as the author looks at what makes people either introverted or extraverted. Some of the personality books claim that this is the least significant of the personality preferences, and I guess that’s true from the point of view of how we learn, and how we make decisions, and so on. 

But if this book is to be believed, and it seems that the author has done her research well, introversion and extraversion are hard-wired into our brains. We use and react in different ways, physically, to different hormones. In lay terms (which is how I operate) it’s why extraverted people are energised by activity and parties, while introverts find them draining. That’s not to say that introverts don’t enjoy them - it’s that they need to recharge afterwards, while extraverts are charged by activity in the world.

I found this immensely reassuring, as was the reminder that everyone is unique, that we all process things a bit differently and that there are degrees of introversion and extraversion.  According to one of the brief checklist tests in the book, my introversion is at about 85%. 

The author goes on to mention the Myers-Briggs personality test - her preferences are apparently the same as mine, which may explain why the writing style resonates so well. She mentions other systems of categorising people too, such as the Enneagram, and points out how there are so many different ways of relating to the world and to each other.

I found the whole book fascinating - much of what is said was not new to me, but I appreciated very much the way it was said. There’s a low-key Christian theme, but it’s not at all preachy. Someone of  no faith could skim or miss out the references to God, and our callings and beliefs. I knew that God loves me as an individual; I’m fortunate to have grown up knowing I was loved by many family members. But it’s still easy to think of oneself as a bit dull, or feeble, or lazy, when not involved in a lot of activities and meetings. 

I was most impressed with the final chapter, where the author talks about a ‘vision statement’, acknowledging that this sounds rather formal and that not everyone wants one. But she walks through what she means, with more checklists, and I could see it - not just one but four different ways that, as an introvert, I can play my part with those around me and in the wider world. 

I would recommend this book very highly to anyone who is an introvert, or who is concerned that they need a lot of time alone and wonder if it’s okay. Some extraverts might find it helpful too. In the US, where the author is based, it’s not easy to be a quiet, home-loving person as the culture there is so outgoing, bright and lively. Growing up in the UK, it wasn’t so difficult. But still, it’s not always easy to say ‘no’ to social activities, or staying up later than I want to.  It's very hard saying when I've had enough (temporarily) of being with people I love very much. This book gives a kind of permission, couched in the science of why it’s important to listen to our instincts.  

I ended the book feeling validated, encouraged and with a much more positive outlook than I have had for a while. It’s a book I hope to read regularly, and which I may dip into at odd moments too.

Review copyright 2023 Sue's Book Reviews

Prayer and Temperament (by Chester P Michael)

(Amazon UK link)

It’s nearly thirteen years since I acquired and read ‘Prayer and Temperament’. I knew nothing about the author, Chester P Michael then, except that he was a Roman Catholic priest. Apparently he died in 2014, at the age of 97. So when this book was published, in 1991, he must have been 75 - which surprises me, as the writing feels like that of a much younger person.

The main theme of the book relates to Myers-Briggs theory, and particularly Keirseyan Temperament theory: that we have different ways of relating to people, of learning, and of making decisions. While the Myers-Briggs theory gives sixteen possible ‘types’ indicating our main preferences, Keirsey’s theory groups us into just four temperaments, each one including four of the Myers-Briggs types.

I’ve found both systems of understanding people helpful, in seeing how even within the same family or culture people can have different values, and see the world - and other folk - in surprisingly varied ways. It took me a while to accept that my temperament is not that of the reliable, hard-working and down-to-earth ‘Guardian’, but the more future-oriented, diplomatic ‘Idealist’.

The premise of this book, based on some extensive research, is that each temperament has a preferred, more natural way of relating to God, and of reading the Bible and praying. Unfortunately the author gives rather lengthy and non-intuitive names to the four concepts he outlines, and I kept forgetting which was which. The book is quite well-organised, with appendices and well-labelled chapters, which was useful as I had to keep flipping back to find out what was being referred to, and to the appendices to check other information.

I had expected to read straight through, but in fact that isn’t possible with this book: after each chapter on a particular form of prayer there are extensive suggestions, but I wasn’t going to do one per day or it would have taken me over two months to finish the book. It took me longer than I thought it would anyway, as some of the writing is quite heavy, and while I thought the ideas very thought-provoking, I often had to stop after just a page or two to get my head around what was said.

It’s certainly true, for me, that the easiest form of connecting with the Bible and with God is to see passages of Scripture as relevant to me and those I care for - and this, according to the author, comes most easily to those with the NF temperament. The NT (Rationalist) temperament, unsurprisingly, is likely to find it easiest to study extensively, to look at the context of a passage, and the meaning of individual words, and to delve into what might be meant.

For the SJ (Guardian) folk, it’s apparently most natural to imagine oneself as part of the scenes described, to become, in essence, an observer and to hear and feel the situations and scenarios described in the Bible. I’ve often heard people discussing this, or ‘walking’ a group through a passage, adding descriptions and thoughts to stimulate the imagination - but it’s remarkably difficult for me to do this. Since a large number of people in the church have the SJ temperament, it’s perhaps not surprising that this is popular with so many.

People with the SP (Artisan) temperament, the authors claim, are more likely to be struck by the practical parts of the Bible, and to practice their faith and prayer while working or ministering to other people, or involved in some kind of sensory activity.

However the author doesn’t leave it with those stereotypes, but encourages everyone to try out other methods - to activate, as he put it, the transcendent dimensions of each of the functions, including those which are tertiary or inferior, rather than just our two most accessible ones. I found some of this quite heavy-going; I’m sure there’s value in the ideas, but I couldn’t hold everything in my head at once. The somewhat long-winded descriptions and lengthy phrases didn’t help.

It’s certainly a valuable book, with a great deal of insight and sense, but perhaps would be most easily understood by those who are naturally more academic than I am, or possibly by those of the NT temperament. But I think I found it more helpful this time than I did thirteen years ago; I expect I’ll come back to it again in another decade or so.

Recommended if you’re interested in different ways of praying, and are familiar with either the Myers-Briggs or Keirseyan theories. While the author does give brief descriptions of them all, I don’t think they would be helpful to anyone who did not know about these personality theories, and had no idea what their own temperament might be.

But it’s not an easy read, and definitely not a book to sit down and read straight through.

Review copyright 2021 Sue's Book Reviews

Quiet (by Susan Cain)

(Amazon UK link)

I had never heard of Susan Cain, but this book was highly recommended in a couple of places - I forget exactly where - so I put it on my wishlist a couple of years ago. I was given it for my birthday last year (2016, that is).

‘Quiet: the power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking’ is a little daunting at first glance. It’s over 300 pages in quite a small font. Flicking through, I couldn’t see many page breaks or subheadings. However, I was intrigued as I saw it sitting on my to-read shelf, and finally picked it up early in October.

It took me a while to get into the book. The introduction describes the idea of extroversion and introversion as opposites, using the words more as the general populace understands them than according to any of the standard personality theories. They feel a tad stereotyped: we meet the gregarious, charming extravert who loves to talk, and the quiet, shy introvert who never knows what to say. As a strong introvert myself, I kept wanting to point out that it’s not exactly like that…

But I decided to accept the author’s more general use of the words - I fit into the introvert category no matter how it’s defined - and kept reading. Then the first couple of chapters were even more off-putting. They looked at extroversion as a ‘cultural ideal’ in the United States, both past and present. The author interviewed potential leaders at an American university which, I gather, cultivates high-powered business people.

I put the book down, as I knew nothing about the places or companies mentioned, and forgot about it until about a week ago. Then I decided to finish reading it by the end of the year. I divided the remaining pages by the number of days remaining, and have read the bulk of the book since then. I’ve found most of it interesting. I liked it a lot better once it moved beyond the very American focus of the first few chapters. The author is an introvert herself, and she looks at ways introverts can become successful in business, in relationships, even in public speaking if they are passionate about the topic concerned.

There’s some biology - research has shown that introverts and extroverts have different brain patterns, and that these facets of temperament can be determined, with a high degree of accuracy, from their reactions to new situations as small babies. It’s not too technical, and I found it fascinating. There are comparisons between different cultures, showing how many quietly spoken and highly intelligent Asian students struggle in the extraverted, group culture of American universities.

I was a little confused by the assumption that Europeans also hold the ‘extrovert ideal’. I don’t think that’s true in the UK, nor in many of the northern European countries, although extroversion does seem to be prized more highly in the Mediterranean countries. I never had any problems of the kind described growing up as an introvert. I like small groups, and quite enjoyed collaborative projects at school. But most of my time was still spent working alone.

Still, stereotypes and generalisations are inevitable in a book of this sort. It looks at case studies, at extensive research: the author spoke to and interviewed many individuals. It’s a positive book for people who hold the ‘extrovert ideal’, assuming they would ever take the time to sit down and read it. The saddest story was about a gregarious couple who insisted on ‘therapy’ for their quiet, introverted son, wanting him to be more ambitious, more outgoing and more aggressive. The author recommends small, flexible school options for introverted children though I was surprised that she didn't suggest home education.

The book was recommended as eye-opening, and also as excellent validation for introverts. I didn’t see it that way. But it was encouraging to read that there are specific biological factors that make people like me averse to risks, uncomfortable in new situations, and easily overwhelmed by loud noises and bright lights. The importance of downtime is stressed, and it’s made clear that introversion is not at all the same thing as being anti-social.

I would recommend this to anyone who thinks that there’s something wrong with (or weird about) quiet, non-assertive people. It could also be useful for anyone who has been pushed outside their comfort zone into public speaking or heavy socialising.

Review copyright 2017 Sue's Book Reviews

Survival games personalities play (by Eve Delunas)

(Amazon UK link)

I don’t remember where I first heard of Eve Delunas, or this book. Perhaps it was recommended in one of the many books I’ve read about temperament or personality type; perhaps it was on a forum I’m part of which discusses this issues. The book was quite expensive to buy new, so I kept it on my private wish-list for a while. When I spotted it inexpensively at the AwesomeBooks site, I ordered it.

I was at first a bit irritated when I started reading ‘Survival games personalities play’. This was not because of anything wrong with the writing or the book itself, but because a previous owner had used a highlighter and a permanent pen to underline or emphasise large amounts of text in the book. As I struggled through the first chapters, I wondered if I’d be able to understand anything at all.

It’s a testament to how very good the book is that by the time I was around two-thirds of the way through I no longer noticed the highlights or underlinings.

The book starts with an overview and history of temperament theory, most of which was familiar to me already, but which provides a useful introduction. It then launches into what it calls the ‘survival games’ each temperament tends to ‘play’ when under extreme stress. I found the concept of ‘playing games’ quite a confusing one; to me, games are enjoyable ways of socialising with friends, which we choose. The ‘survival games’ described by the author are completely different: they’re ways of dealing with stress, and are entirely subconscious.

However, that terminology is my only minor complaint about the book. As the author describes each of these ‘games’ in outline, I could see some of them immediately as they relate to various people I know. Others were harder to understand, but it made a useful reference chapter which I glanced at from time to time as I progressed through the book.

After the introductory chapters, there’s a section devoted to each of the four temperaments (Artisans, Guardians, Rationals and Idealists, as David Keirsey first termed them, and as I still think of them). While any of the ‘games’ can apply to anyone of any temperament, it made a lot of sense that certain ones appeal more to particular personality types, and also ties in with my own experience.

The author looks at ways to help people who are stuck in these games, and describes some of the strategies she has used when dealing with problems in marriages, parenting, businesses, and more. She’s a qualified psychotherapist and mentions several different kinds of therapy that helped different people. Some of them sounded rather strange to me, but the point is made that each individual and each case is different. What helps one person might make things worse for another. Hence, she explains, it’s important to see what - if any - ‘games’ are being played, and what temperament most likely fits the people concerned.

The final section gives some actual case studies with a challenge to the reader to figure out the most likely temperaments of the people concerned, and what might help them move forward. The author certainly doesn’t imply that all her methods are successful. In at least one case, the results were very disappointing. But that doesn’t mean it was wrong to try.

The writing is clear, easy to read and full of wisdom. There are some areas where an interested amateur couldn’t begin to go; the author has helped sufferers of serious abuse in childhood or later relationships, where unravelling the ‘survival game’ is only the beginning of helping the person concerned to find healing. But for milder cases, where communication has dried up, or parents are struggling with difficult teenagers, there’s a great deal that could potentially be helpful.

Overall I enjoyed this very much, and expect I’ll dip into the book regularly.

Review copyright 2017 Sue's Book Reviews

Emotional Intelligence (by Daniel Goleman)

(Amazon UK link)

This is a book we were given by a friend when we moved from the UK towards the end of 1997. We had not heard of the author, Daniel Coleman, and I doubt if this would ever have come across my radar, so I was very glad that this friend, selecting books he felt would be appropriate for our family, picked this one. He said that the title appealed…

‘Emotional Intelligence’ is not a phrase I had come across back in 1997. Before the widespread use of the Internet, and discussion forums, I had no reason to have heard of it, although nowadays the term is bandied about fairly often, along with ‘multiple intelligence’ theories, and the acknowledgement that there is a great deal more than IQ to make a popular, successful or well-rounded person.

I read the book with this title a few months after moving, and found it quite heavy-going in places. However I was very much taken with the principles explained: that the ability to relate to or empathise with others is just as important as linguistic or mathematical ability, and that when children are given good social skills (quite different from ‘socialisation’) either at home or at school, they are far less likely to turn to dangerous or illegal behaviour in their teens.

In February of this year I decided that I would re-read the book, and it’s taken me ten months to complete it. That’s partly because I have been reading so many other books, and partly because a lot of it is scientific or technical, looking at ways in which the brain processes emotions: neural pathways and other medical terms tend to go rather above my head. I don’t think it’s necessary to understand how emotions happen, but the book is all-encompassing, and no doubt that information would be of great interest to more scientifically minded readers.

I was much more interested in the sections about family life, the art of listening, and of suggestions for spotting when someone is in the grip of strong emotion, and adjusting one’s own tone of voice and conversation accordingly. I was also interested again in the section towards the end, looking at ways in which children from ‘at-risk’ homes or neighbourhoods can be taught techniques of conflict resolution and other useful skills that will probably be of far more benefit to them than the study of geography or history.

As I read this, I wondered why the author felt that teachers needed to be trained to work with children in these areas which, on the whole, seem to me to be common sense. But there are families caught up in a cycle of neglect or worse, where parents themselves may lack the ability to empathise or listen actively to their children, and in those cases, the cycle will most likely continue unless the children are taught to think and behave differently.

It’s not a book to read in one sitting; there’s a great deal to take in, and much to think about. Perhaps there’s some repetition and over-technical parts, but as a handbook for a layperson wanting to know more about emotions and emotional intelligence, I would recommend it.

Review copyright 2016 Sue's Book Reviews

Enneagram II (by Richard Rohr)

(Amazon UK link)

It's over ten years since I first learned about the Enneagram, a fascinating tool for personality exploration and spiritual growth. Rather than the more traditional four (or sixteen) types, nine deep-rooted types of person are identified, based partly on defence mechanisms and 'besetting sin'.

There's controversy in some circles about whether or not it's appropriate for Christians (having Sufi and possibly Pagan roots). However there are also many who believe that God can use it to help us understand each other better, and grow in our faith and maturity by seeing ourselves as we really are. Richard Rohr is a Catholic priest who uses it extensively in positive ways.

'Enneagram II' is a book intended for readers who have explored and understood the basics of the theory, and are looking for a deeper understanding of how they - from the point of view of their Enneagram type - can relate better to God and to other people. It is based on a series of workshops.

The book mainly focuses on the nine perspectives for looking at oneself and other people. It encourages individuals to see that there are many paths along which we can grow and develop, and to avoid judgement or criticism of those whose paths are different. The main part of the book focuses on questions asked to panels of each of the nine types, asking how they deal with stress and betrayal; this section is written in transcript form, including questions from the floor.

There are also a few chapters at the end focusing on how to grow beyond and through our Enneagram 'box' while being true to ourselves. I was particularly interested in a chapter explaining how our innate view of God is inevitably too narrow, even false. Finally there is a very brief summary of how the nine types are identified, with some traits described.

I found it quite heavy going in places and only read a few pages at a time; I would have liked the 'panels' to have been asked a few more questions; however, the answers were quite revealing and undoubtedly revealed some broad patterns. I found the early and final chapters particularly thought-provoking, and will no doubt read this again in a few years.

Recommended to anyone wanting to know how this personality tool can better be used in the Christian life. Not currently in print but sometimes available second-hand.

Review copyright 2014 Sue's Book Reviews

Full Face to God (by David Mahon)

(Amazon UK link)

Browsing in the Awesomebooks site, I came across this book by David Mahon. I can't find a website for him, and it appears that this is the only book he has written. The blurb on the back tells me that he is a Catholic, and also a trained counsellor.

He also has a clear and very readable writing style. 'Full Face to God' is subtitled 'An Introduction to the Enneagram', and that's what it is - written from a strongly Christian perspective. It's enlivened by light line drawings demonstrating caricatures of each type, not to be taken too seriously!

The Enneagram - which simply means a nine-pointed star - is an ancient system of personality typing which divides people into nine different categories, depicting them visually on the nine points of an enneagram.

Unlike other popular personality typing, this is not based on learning styles or decision-making processes, but on people's deeper-rooted needs, motivations and failings. Although it may have originated amongst Sufi Muslims, it has been adopted by many Christians as a valuable aid to understanding themselves and finding a path towards God, based on moving beyond their fixations and inherent difficulties.

This introductory guide presents the nine types clearly with a fairly long chapter for each. As well as descriptions, the author gives a checklist of likely beliefs, the ways each person might develop in childhood, the challenges typically confronting each type, and an overview of the different levels of health that can be found for each one. There are light-hearted images of animals, or colours that tend to be associated with each type, and more serious headings, such as the way each individual can best find God through different styles of prayer.

The book shows, too, how Jesus managed to combine the highest traits and gifts of each of the nine types into an integrated whole. It encourages each of us to aspire towards the healthier aspects of who we are, admitting our deepest sinful tendencies and moving beyond them.

Inevitably, as a relatively short beginner guide, the book only touches lightly on some of the complexities of the Enneagram. I have read several other books on the topic, but still found this quite thought-provoking and insightful I would recommend it to anyone wanting to know more - or, indeed, anyone wondering how this particular tool can be consistent with Christian beliefs.

Unfortunately this is no longer in print, but it can sometimes be found second-hand.

For someone looking for a more advanced book, also from a Christian perspective - or, indeed, someone who has read this particular book and would like to know more - I would also recommend Michael Hampson's 'Head versus Heart and our Gut Reactions'.

Review copyright 2014 Sue's Book Reviews

People Patterns (by Stephen Montgomery)

(Amazon UK link)

I don't know anything about Stephen Montgomery, other than the short biography in the back of his book - he was (or is) apparently David Keirsey's son-in-law and also his research assistant and editor. However I can't find any working website with anything about him. He's not even mentioned in Wikipedia.

I have quite a collection of books about personality type, and also on the four related temperaments as defined by David Keirsey and refined by Linda Berens. I hesitated before putting "People Patterns' on my wishlist - some reviewers said it was stereotyped and shallow. However others said it provided a useful introduction to temperament theory, and I thought it sounded interesting, if only to recommend to people wanting a quick overview.

I was given it at Christmas 2007 but did not start reading it until July last year. So it's taken me about nine months to finish this relatively short book. Not that it's hard to read at all - rather the reverse. I was a bit disappointed to find that it was, indeed, an over-simplified book about Keirsey's temperament theory, based, unfortunately, around various film or TV characters, many of whom I had never heard of.  Those I had heard of - such as the characters in the Wizard of Oz - presented a very caricatured and unrealistic approach to the theory.

I suppose, for someone well acquainted with TV shows and movies, it might provide a simple overview of the idea that there are four basic temperaments, each with its own needs, values and worldviews. It surprises me when I find people who don't know this, at least at an intuitive level, but I realise that there are still many people for whom the theories are quite a revelation.

My concern is that this book could all too easily lead to stereotyping and boxing in of these temperaments. Fictional screen characters by nature are almost bound to be two-dimensional with exaggerated traits: they are not real people. It's nowhere near as easy to categorise our friends and family members, let alone ourselves, and there's no real hint in this book that our personalities are not so clear-cut as the examples given.

So, while I always like having more books to add to my personality related shelves, pretty much any of the others - even the shorter ones - have more depth than this. Keirsey's 'Please Understand Me II' is considerably more helpful for an in-depth study of the system, without too much stereotyping, and any of the temperament booklets by Linda Berens provide excellent introductions with clear indications that we all have access to all traits, none of which is 'better' than any other.

Not recommended, unless you're a movie buff who knows nothing at all about temperament theory.

Review copyright Sue's Book Reviews, April 30th 2012

The Enneagram (by Helen Palmer)

(Amazon UK link)

I have been interested in personality typing and growth for a couple of decades now, particularly in relation to the Myers-Briggs system. So I was interested to learn, perhaps seven or eight years ago, of a different system called the Enneagram. This divides people into nine broad categories rather than sixteen. It bases the divisions on our major failings/besetting sins, and the ways we develop in childhood. After discussing the topic online I read several books, which were of varying usefulness; eventually, after two or three recommendations, I decided to buy the book by Helen Palmer.

I've been reading 'The Enneagram' (subtitled: "Understanding Yourself and Others in Your Life"), off and on, for about a year now. It's not that it's dull, or even overly academic, but in places it's quite heavy going. I can certainly recognise some of the people I know in some of the Enneagram descriptions, and was quite struck when - eventually - I reached the chapter about point Nine, the one I most relate to. There was much in it that I could recognise.

It's a good, solid book, well-written with clear explanations and some examples of how the different types function in everyday life. However, I'm not sure that I learned anything new about the Enneagram. There are no dramatic insights; nothing that I hadn't already read in at least one of the other books I'd previously read on the topic. That, perhaps, is why I kept putting the book down, often for weeks at a time. I had to be in the right mood to read something that was, basically, a summary of what I already knew.

I would nevertheless recommend this book to anyone new to the Enneagram. It has a useful introduction to the system, with fairly clear explanations about how it develops and how it can be used. But, expecting something brilliantly new and inspiring, from the recommendations I was given, I have to admit to mild disappointment that it didn't strike me as particularly special.

For the most useful Enneagram introduction I've come across - including checklists for each type - I'd recommend Riso and Hudson's The Wisdom of the Enneagram; for more advanced aspects of the system, from a strongly Christian perspective, I'd suggest 'Head versus Heart and our Gut Reactions' by Michael Hampson.

Review copyright Sue's Book Reviews, 6th June 2011

Knowing me, knowing God (by Malcolm Goldsmith)

(Amazon UK link)

I'd never heard of Malcolm Goldsmith. Apparently he was a pastor from the UK and also a qualified Myers-Briggs practitioner. I bought this book because I'm interested in both temperament/type (particularly with respect to the MBTI) and also differences in spirituality. The book was recommended to me on Amazon, based on what I had already read, and was well reviewed.

I thought that 'Knowing me, knowing God' was generally speaking a useful book, when thinking about spirituality from the Myers-Briggs type point of view. It would be particularly interesting for someone who knows just a little about this personality indicator and wonders how it relates to the Christian life.

There's a 'spirituality questionnaire' included in the book, which I found quite thought-provoking. I wasn't sure where all the questions were going, but it did correctly give me my type (INFJ).

The different chapters explore aspects of relationship to God, looking at why some people enjoy lively church services, while others prefer solitary retreats. It also considers issues such as why some need icons and candles to help them focus, while others find them a distraction. There's a chapter considering our personality shadows and one discussing Jesus' use of functions leading to a very balanced personality (which the author does not try to narrow down). The final chapter is a meditation on the song 'When I survey the wondrous cross', from the personality point of view.

I did feel that the explanations as related to the different functions (thinking, feeling, sensing and intuition) were a bit basic. But then it's a short book (only 116 pages of text) and not intended to be a Myers-Briggs text book. However, I did find them rather lacking in that they didn't mention the significant differences between the Introverted and Extraverted uses of each function.

But that's really my only gripe with the book. The writer doesn't give much time to anecdotes or stories, which made it feel a bit dry at times. But then he's a self-confessed ENTP, so the main focus is on the theories themselves. I didn't find that a real problem, since I just read a few pages each day.

I don't think I learned anything new, although I certainly thought about some aspects of the Christian life in a slightly different light. Overall, though, it was a good reminder of how we are all created so differently, with different strengths and weaknesses, and how important it is to honour those differences in our brothers and sisters.

Recommended.

Review copyright Sue's Book Reviews, 2nd January 2010

It's not fair! (by Gill Hines and Alison Baverstock)

(Amazon UK link)

I had never heard of either Gill Hines or Alison Baverstock. Nor is this a book I would have bought, since my two sons are now in their early 20s. But I've always liked parenting books, so when I saw it on the shelves for review of 'The Bookbag' site, I thought it would be interesting to read. I did wonder if it would be along similar lines to Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's 'Raising your Spirited Child', which I read about nine years ago, and thought excellent.

However, the 'bright and challenging' children described in this book are defined as being 'smart, sassy and sparky, with just a hint of precociousness.' This is rather different from the dreamy, perceptive and rather disorganised 'spirited' one.

A bright and challenging child tends to live in the moment, self-aware and verbal, able to argue well, frequently wearing his parents down. Modern recommended parenting methods are not necessarily helpful with this kind of child.

Problems arise since bright and challenging children are often unable to consider long-term consequences of their actions. As teenagers, they are more likely than most to experiment with dangerous or anti-social behaviours. They usually like being the centre of attention, and are more interested in present feelings and desires than any thought of the future.

The book is very well-written, full of anecdotes about bright and challenging children, with advice about what to do, and what not to do. There are questionnaires, places for parents to pause and think about certain aspects of parenting, and some excellent suggestions in the later chapters for preparing their children for the temptations of the teenage years.

It's intended for parent of children from eight to twelve, and most of the suggestions and recommendations are appropriate for this age-range. However, some children are clearly bright and challenging from a much younger age, and some teenagers are the despair of their parents due to consistently negative behaviour of the sort described in this book. So I feel it would be appropriate for parents of any age children who are finding it hard to deal with them.

Very highly recommended.

You can also read my slightly longer review of 'It's Not Fair' on the Bookbag site.

Portraits of Temperament (by David Keirsey)

(Amazon UK link)

Although I wasn't all that impressed by Keirseyan Temperament theory when I first learned about the Myers-Briggs personality system, the past five or six years have rather altered my perception. Temperament does indeed seem to be core to who we are, and David Keirsey's second book 'Please Understand Me II' was considerably more helpful than the original 'Please Understand Me'.

So when I heard that there was another, albeit shorter book by the same author, with longer descriptions of the eight variants of the temperaments, I thought it would be well worth having. I was quite looking forward to reading 'Portraits of Temperament'.

However, I found it a little disappointing. There was nothing new. In the prologue, Keirsey simply repeats what he's said before about there being four temperaments, each with two main variants (as well as Introverted/Extraverted versions). He also recounts, yet again, the history of temperament theory and how, over the centuries, more and more philosophers and observers have come up with four broad categories of people, based on their core personalities.

The rest of the book is taken up with the descriptions of the eight type variants, in somewhat caricatured terms. I happen to know my own type, and thus temperament variant, and certainly recognised some of myself in his descriptions. However I didn't find anything substantially different from what I have already read elsewhere.

I then found the other descriptions rather long-winded and stereotyped. I don't think I would have recognised more than a handful of friends or relatives from these descriptions. Even in some cases when I'm pretty sure of someone's type, I found it quite hard to reconcile some of what was written.

All in all, I didn't think it was nearly as good as either of the 'Please Understand Me' books, or the various booklets by Linda Berens on the same topic.

Still, it's not a bad book. It might well be useful to someone wanting an overview of Keirseyan temperament theory, so long as they realise that one has to read between the lines and avoid many of the details and examples that do not necessarily fit with everyone.

Review copyright Sue's Book Reviews, 8th March 2009

Head versus Heart and our Gut Reactions: The 21st Century Enneagram (by Michael Hampson)

(Amazon UK link)

The writer Michael Hampson trained as an Anglican clergyman in the UK. He has also written a few controversial books, challenging traditional viewpoints of God, and criticising the Anglican church - which, apparently, he has now left.

However, I did not know any of this when, about six months ago, I started reading 'Head versus heart and our gut reactions', his book about the Enneagram from a Christian viewpoint. The author looks at how the Enneagram diagram develops from three 'zones' we all have - head, heart and 'gut'- and the strategies we use, leading to nine 'types'.

I've read quite a few books on the topic of the Enneagram, but have never previously come across one that explains how the nine types develop, and what the relationships are between them. The author goes quite deeply into the security and stress points, and explains why certain relationships are likely to work better than others, although of course a great deal depends on the mental and emotional health level of each individual.

There are examples of Biblical characters who seem to show the characteristics of each of the nine types. There's also a fascinating insight into how the Lord's Prayer can be said, considering each Enneagram type in turn. And there are suggested short prayers and longer 'confessions' from the point of view of each of the types. There's mention, too, of how Jesus is the one person who had none of the Enneagram 'sins' and all the best of the qualities of all nine types.

At the end of the book there is an appendix which looks at how the Enneagram pattern fits into such diverse activities as farming, politics, and the church year. I found these sections a little difficult to swallow, I have to admit, and did not entirely understand them.

Still, overall I found the book fascinating and will no doubt dip into it again in future. It certainly confirmed my own type in my mind ('Nine'). I was particularly challenged by the prayer and confession from the perspective of a type Nine.

It took me over six months to finish the book because I put it on one side and forgot about it, after getting about half way through. I found I couldn't read more than a few pages at a time, since there was so much to think about.

If you know nothing about the Enneagram, it's probably better to start with one of the simpler books or relevant web-sites, since this isn't a 'beginner' book. But if you know a bit about the Enneagram, and particularly if you were wondering if it was compatible with the Christian faith, then I would certainly recommend this book.

Review copyright Sue's Book Reviews, 2nd March 2009

I'm Not Crazy, I'm Just Not You (by Roger R Pearman and Saah C Albritton)

(Amazon UK link)

I haven't ever before heard of either Roger Pearman (who is apparently the founder of two companies, as well as having written several books related to Myers-Briggs theory) or Sarah Albritton (who does not appear to have a web presence at all).

I don't even remember how I first heard of 'I'm not crazy, I'm just not you', a book with the lengthy subtitle, 'Secrets to how we can be so alike when we're so different: the real meaning of the sixteen personality types'. But someone recommended it to me, and it sat on my wishlist for a while before I was given it a couple of years ago.

It's taken me over year to read it, off and on. Which does rather indicate that it's not the most exciting reading. And, indeed, it's rather lacking human interest and anecdotes, and is somewhat heavy going. Besides which, I often forgot about it at the bottom of the pile of other books I'm currently reading.

Having finished it at last, I would consider it pretty sound as far as type and Jungian/Myers-Briggs personality theory go. There is some cognitive function theory as well, which goes rather deeper than the average pop-psychology Myers-Briggs book.

In the early chapters, the authors talk about human behaviour, and outline some of the history of type theory. They stress that all types are valuable and good, and also that type is a 'subtext' to the real individual. In other words, we are all unique individuals, made up of our genes, our gender, our culture, our upbringing, and much more. Myers-Briggs type is just one window through which we can look at ourselves and others around us. It can be a very useful window, but should never become a box for judgementalism, or for making excuses about behaviours.

There are plenty of explanations about what people of different types tend to expect, trust and appreciate, and how easy it is to get caught up in our own preconceived ideas. There are also lots of charts summarising how each of the sixteen Myers-Briggs types is most likely to react or behave under certain circumstances.

People are far more than their type, and these are not hard-and-fast rules for communication. But when there are personality clashes, it could well be worth referring to this book. It's not an easy read; if you're new to the Jungian/Myers-Briggs theories, it's probably better to start with Keirsey's 'Please Understand Me', or one of the books by Linda Berens. But for someone wanting a deeper look at what the cognitive functions mean in everyday life, this is worth dipping into.

Review copyright Sue's Book Reviews, 23rd February 2009

The Introvert Advantage (by Marti Olsen Laney)

(Amazon UK link)

I had never heard of Marti Olsen Laney, who is a researcher and psychotherapist. But I saw her book recommended, and - as a strongly Introverted person - thought it might be worth reading. So I bought it in the Summer, from Amazon UK (link on the left).

I found 'The Introvert Advantage' both encouraging and frustrating.

It was very good to see Introverts championed, particularly in an extraverted society such as the USA, where this book was written. There are some interesting sections in the book on brain pathways, plenty of anecdotes, and some pros and cons of introversion, which should encourage those who may have suffered in childhood. I don't personally know of Introverts who were hassled to be more sociable or outgoing - perhaps, growing up in the more introverted UK, it's less of a problem - but for anyone who feels that Introversion is abnormal, this book should be a great help.

The style is upbeat; the book was clearly well thought out, and well-written. There are some examples of possible Introvert problems given, with suggested solutions, alongside real-life anecdotes, which were always encouraging. There were also some strategies for dealing with the Extraverted world, and events such as parties; these all made a lot of sense, albeit not suggesting anything I did not already know. I particularly enjoyed the quirky quotations at the start of most sections.

On the other hand, the author seems to confuse Introversion, sometimes, with the Idealist (NF) temperament as described by David Keirsey in 'Please Understand Me'. She says that Introverts hate being playful and spontaneous: this is certainly true of some (including me), but absolutely not true for Artisan (SP) Introverts - those whose Myers-Briggs preferences are ISFP or ISTP.

She also talks about Introverts being imaginative; again, this is true of some, but not all. Some - eg Guardian (SJ) introverts, the ISFJs and ISTJs are pretty much grounded in reality, liking concrete language and facts, while some Extraverts - particularly the ENFP and ENFJ Idealist Extraverts, and also the ESFPs - are very imaginative indeed, and can forget about the outside world, or pressing but routine matters every bit as much as Idealist Introverts.

I thought the first half of the book was mostly excellent, truly dealing with the Introvert/Extravert differences on the whole. It explained clearly how Introverts need time to themselves to recharge, and how this is basically due to brain pathways which are different from those who recharge amongst other people and outside stimulation.

But then it got gradually fuller of Idealist content, and thus more unhelpful to the many who may be Introverts, but do not have the NF temperament: in other words, about 95% of them! I say that as someone with INFJ preferences: for me personally, most of the book was in fact relevant. But for Introverts with other temperaments, particularly those who are already struggling with their differences, it might be counter-productive to read much of the second half of the book.

It's a long book to cover this subject; perhaps the first half said all that needs to be said. Overall it was certainly interesting and very readable. I would certainly recommend it to any Extraverts who have difficulty understanding or accepting their Introverted colleagues and loved ones, but less enthusiastically to Introverts, particularly those who are not aware of the temperament/type models that define more than just two broad types of people.

Review copyright Sue's Book Reviews, 20th July 2008

Parables and the Enneagram (by Clarence Thomson)

(Amazon UK link)

I didn't know the name Clarence Thomson before reading this book. He is a Catholic theologian and a businessman, with a deep interest in the Enneagram system of personality typing. This is explained in some detail at his Enneagram site. Not that the test is particularly accurate. 

The Enneagram proposes that there are nine basic personality types, each of which has one deep fixation (or 'sin'- seven of them relate to the classical seven deadly sins) that make us see the world in a distorted way. Since we grow up with this distortion, it's as if we're in a kind of trance, seeing things only from our perspective. The healthier we are psychologically, the better able we are to move beyond our trances.

The book 'Parables and the Enneagram' was recommended on a mailing list I'm on. It's a very interesting book, starting with the assumption that all the Biblical parables, and many of Jesus' other comments and actions were not intended as advice, or even inspiration. Instead, the author proposes, they were simply intended to tilt people's world views: to help them set aside, if only for a moment, their Enneagram fixation and move out of the trance.

I suppose it's obvious that the parables are not examples of good advice. What shepherd, after all would actually leave behind ninety-nine sheep on the hillside while searching for one that got lost? What businessman would employ people for different hours and then pay them all exactly the same wages?

We tend to see the parables as stories - as metaphors for life, perhaps, or to show how God's Kingdom is different from the kingdoms of the world. But Clarence Thomson sees them as created for people of different Enneagram types. They are certainly not literal, nor even metaphorical as such, but wake-up calls to help people throw aside their fixations for a while.

His examples make a lot of sense. After the first introductory chapter, he examines each type in turn and the parables or incidents in Jesus' life that he believes were intended for people with this type. I thought they all seemed appropriate and could see his point of view, even if I didn't full agree with everything he said.

Definitely recommended for anyone who knows something about the Enneagram, whether or not they are Christians.

Review copyright © Sue's Book Reviews, 20th June 2008

Prayer and Temperament (by Chester P Michael and Marie C Norrisey)

(Amazon UK link)

I knew nothing about Chester P Michael or Maria C Norrisey. Neither have websites, and there's very little about them online. Apparently he is a Roman Catholic priest who does a fair amount of writing, and she is his editor. Twenty years ago I would have tended to avoid books written by Catholics, but nowadays two of my favourite Christian authors (Brennan Manning and Henri Nouwen) are Roman Catholic.

I bought the book on the strength of a recommendation elsewhere. 'Prayer and Temperament' attempts to reconcile the differences of temperament, as described by David Keirsey, Linda Berens and others, with preferred and most helpful methods of Christian prayer. It's based mainly on a big survey that was taken, discussing various methods of reading the Bible and praying, and correlating with each person's personality type in the Myers-Briggs system.

It mainly deals with the four temperaments (Idealist/NF, Artisan/SP, Guardian/SJ and Rational/NT) as proposed by Keirsey, and the different ways people find easiest to relate to God. There are useful broad descriptions of the needs and strengths of each temperament, and explanations of different methods of praying, with specific recommendations.

The methods described were more formal than I am familiar with, but still made a lot of sense. My temperament is Idealist; the authors suggest that the Idealist finds it easiest to read the Bible using the creative imagination, as if the words were being spoken today, to us as individuals. It suggests prayerfully writing down passages of Scripture, using one's own name to pray it through and medidate.

For Guardians, it is proposed that the easiest method is to use the 'sensible imagination', to imagine oneself transported back into the Biblical scenes, hearing the sounds and smelling the scents of the time, and observing the events. For Rationals, questions and probing into the words of Scripture is suggested, and for Artisans, the suggestion is to consider the events and actions surrounding characters of Scripture, and also to allow natural beauty - sunsets, blossom, mountain views, etc - to trigger praise and worship.

There's a lot more than that, of course. Each of these broad styles is related to one of the church fathers who prayed in this manner, and it's also recommended that people of each temperament try out all the methods, when feeling relaxed and unstressed. There are some specific examples at the end of each chapter, and an appendix at the end looking at each of the sixteen Myers-Briggs types and their likely methods of prayer and worship of God.

There is also some examination of the four main Jungian functions (Sensing, Intuition, Feeling and Thinking), and how they work both in a regular and transcendent way, and there are sections looking at how we were when stressed, and how to develop our lesser functions.

The book was well laid-out, and clearly written with persuasive arguments. I could relate easily to what was said about Idealists, and was pleased to see that each type was treated in a positive way. On the other hand, I felt there was a bit of a muddle about how the functions worked, not really considering both the extraverted and introverted uses of them. I also noticed that in the type recommendations, about twelve of the sixteen types were told that they would benefit from a 'Cursillo' weekend - something I have never heard of, and which may not be available outside American Catholic settings.

Overall, I thought it well worth reading and would recommend it to anyone struggling with certain forms of worship or styles of church. It was encouraging to see how different styles are appropriate to different temperaments, and to remember again that God made us all differently - and thus would not necessarily expect the same style of worship from different people.

Not currently listed as being in print.