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I bought it for my Kindle when it was on special offer a few months ago, as it was hard to find a reasonably priced paperback edition, and I’ve just finished reading it. The style was mostly fairly light, and it only took me a couple of days.
The main protagonist is a young, gay woman called Jay. And it opens quite dramatically, telling us that the first time she kissed a girl was the same evening that her brother died. The two events, we quickly learn, are quite unconnected. But Jay was at a party, and ignored repeated messages and phone calls from her parents. So she didn’t learn about the tragedy until the following morning.
Ferdia - the brother - was eight years older than Jay, and they grew up in a very religious Roman Catholic family in Ireland. She rather idolised her brother, and is therefore devastated to find out that he died, in an accident on a football pitch. Ferdia had been training as a priest, so had somewhat grown apart from his family, but he always seemed to be their parents’ favourite. He was polite, generous and easygoing, whereas Jay was more riotous and liked to question everything.
It’s essentially a character-based novel with a somewhat confusing timeline. The present day involves Jay meeting and becoming intimate with someone new, and her parents letting her know that Ferdia is possibly in line for becoming a saint. But there are also forays into the past, looking at Jay in her childhood and teenage years; and at the end it suddenly moves forward a few years.
I learned quite a bit about Jay’s extended family over the course of the book, and a few things I wasn’t aware of about the Catholic church. One of these is that there’s a rigorous procedure for the canonisation of new saints, some of which is rather gruesome. But the process can take many years, and has some quite strict requirements.
I also learned a bit about gay or queer culture, particularly in London. I would have preferred a tad less description in bedroom scenes; I don’t like them even in novels about heterosexual relationships, and this was even less appealing to me, although it was easy enough to skim those sections - and there weren’t that many.
But although it was quite readable, and the characters mostly felt believable, I didn’t actually like Jay very much. She’s quite self-centered, and prone to misinterpreting people’s feelings. Her parents are quiet, undemonstrative folk who care about her deeply, but she resents the fact that Ferdia was (in her view) considered special. She’s escaped to London, where she has taken advantage of her freedom, getting drunk and having flings, and she rarely bothers to contact her parents at all.
I expect it will lead to some interesting discussion - it certainly brings up questions about the Catholic church and its attitude towards modern relationships; these are contrasted with some of the scandals that came out into the open involving priests. It’s set in the real world, mentioning real popes, and offering some genuine challenges. But Jay is losing her faith, and has little interest in interacting with anyone in the church. I imagine the book will be shocking to practising Catholics.
I’m glad I read it - it’s certainly not a book I would normally consider reading. The writing is mostly good, and the pace sufficient to keep me reading. But it didn’t really engage my emotions at all, and it’s not a story that’s likely to remain in my head for long. Neither is it one that I am ever likely to read again.
However, this book has been very highly reviewed elsewhere, and was shortlisted for several prizes, so don't necessarily take my word for it. Other folk evidently love it.
Review copyright 2026 Sue's Book Reviews
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