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I started reading it while visiting relatives a few weeks ago, and have just finished it. It’s not that the book is a long or difficult read, but I found my mind wandering if I read more than three or four pages at a time. The writing is good, but a tad repetitive in places.
The theme is that we all have to undergo suffering in various ways, and that it can be a positive thing. The author describes some of his own physical sufferings as he came to terms with some unpleasant symptoms, which took a long time to diagnose. He acknowledges that emotional or mental suffering can be just as unpleasant as physical pain.
The book is written from a Christian perspective, so there are examples from the Bible of how people - some of them great men or women of God - suffered in different ways. Jesus is the obvious example of tremendous suffering for the sake of humankind. But Paul also suffered in many ways on his journeys around the Mediterranean, with imprisonment, beatings, shipwreck and more. Paul had his famous ‘thorn in the flesh too’, some kind of chronic suffering which he had to learn to live with.
There are chapters about how we can learn and grow through suffering, and how important it is to see the primacy of God being with us, not necessarily removing the pain. He explains that it’s important to grieve, to rant and rave at God if we feel like it, to admit to our frustrations and anger.
He also points out that sometimes when we suffer something, we are much more able to help others going through the same or similar circumstances later on. Then there are suggestions of how we should best react to someone who is suffering, by being with them and offering support rather than trying to rationalise or ‘fix’ everything.
None of which was new to me, but it was good to be reminded of the importance of seeing God’s hand in all we do. And while it was a bit disconcerting, in the early chapters, to be told that I wasn’t going to ‘grow’ if I didn’t suffer, and that it’s part of God’s love to enable suffering, I could gradually see that this is the case. My sufferings are very mild compared to many; I hesitate even to use the word ‘suffering’, but there have been difficult times in my life when I did learn a great deal about relying on God and responding better to others.
However, there was one place where I didn’t agree with the book. The author says that our immediate response to almost any suffering is to minimise or get rid of it. Whereas, he says, it may be that God wants us to go through it. I do agree that we often can’t ‘fix’ other people’s problems, and it’s better to offer support and encouragement than easy or trite answers. On the other hand, if someone has a headache, I will offer them a tablet. If a new mother is struggling with a screaming baby, I will offer what advice or suggestions I can to solve the problem.
Asking God into a situation is good and right, but there are times when I think it’s also helpful to ease symptoms or temporarily remove the trigger of the suffering. I don’t think it’s going against God’s will to help someone through their suffering: if he has placed me with the person, and I have some pertinent suggestions or advice, I think it would be wrong not to offer them. Nor am I going to avoid taking medication myself, or following other recommendations to ease pain if they are possible. I don’t wish to become a martyr.
Still, on the whole it’s a useful book. If it’s a bit long-winded and repetitive in places, it has plenty to think about and some practical help with coming to terms with our suffering and other long-term or difficult problems. I would recommend it, on the whole if you can find it free or inexpensively; however it is unlikely to be of interest to anyone outside the Christian faith, and its price at the time of writing is (in my view) excessive for an ebook.
Review copyright 2020 Sue's Book Reviews
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