The me I want to be (by John Ortberg)

(Amazon UK link)

I do like John Ortberg’s books. He’s an American pastor who writes with honesty and some humour. His writing is often thought-provoking, and I found it particularly so in this book. I last read ‘The me I want to be’ in 2010, so had pretty much forgotten what was in it. Possibly I borrowed it the first time, as I could not find it on our shelves. So I put it on my wishlist and was delighted to be given it for Christmas.

I’ve reread it over the past couple of weeks, a chapter or two each day. The premise of the book is that God has made us all as unique individuals for a reason. It follows that he wants each of us to be the best ‘me’ that we can, and also that this is possible. He encourages us all to find our unique ‘calling’, pointing out that this doesn’t necessarily mean something overtly Christian or ‘religious’. 

It’s a message I’ve read many times before but it’s always worth being reminded of something so very important. So many Christians attempt to be people they are not. If they feel pressure to ‘perform’, or to appear to be generous or happy when they are not, then they’re not being honest or real. It’s also not necessary to try to develop skills we don’t have and don’t particularly want. Far more important, Ortberg tells us, is to focus on what we can do, and where we feel most connected to God.

There are some useful chapters that focus on different ways that people can find out more about themselves. He looks at the Myers-Briggs system, for instance, and on books for helping people find their spiritual gifts, and their preferred pathways to God. Someone who is a nature-loving introvert is not likely to be called to pastor a large inter-city church. Not that God can’t work miracles - of course he can. But in general in the Bible, and in life, he uses people where they are, with their strengths and weaknesses, hopes and desires. 

Ortberg also reminds people that different ‘disciplines’ or practices help different people. If someone finds it helpful to write in a journal every day, or to get up very early to pray, then that’s great. But if someone finds journaling a chore or is absolutely not a morning person, then it’s best to find alternatives. We should not become arrogant when we find our best pathways to God, nor should we feel pressured to follow anyone else’s. 

There are some more general exhortations, too. For instance, he reminds us, where possible, to choose to fill our minds with what is true, noble, and so on rather than junk (as Paul tells us in his letter to the Philippians). He tells us to chat to God about anything and everything, including the mundane. He points out that relationships - with people as well as with God - are far more important than careers, even overtly Christian ones. But also that we are designed to work; that the sabbath day of rest is important, but so is to give ourselves to work, in the broadest sense, for the other six days and to do it with integrity and thoroughness.

There’s much more, of course. The author talks about times when he failed, and about benefits of living each day with God, taking a step at a time, learning to be who we are designed to be. He suggests making a point of relating to people we find difficult so that we (hopefully) learn to grow in patience and understanding. And at the end he suggests that we ask for a ‘mountain’ ahead of us, a challenge rather than a quieter life. I’m not so sure about that; I prefer a simpler, more straightforward existence with minor challenges rather than major ones. 

My only complaint about this book - and I see it’s one I had when I first read it - is the nature of the diagrams, which look very scrappy, with a mixture of printed text and what look like hand-drawn lines. I didn’t allow them to interfere with the content, which is excellent; but they definitely make the book look less professional. 

However, other than the diagrams, I would recommend the book highly to anyone who is a Christian believer, whether long-standing or new; whether deeply committed or more on the periphery.  It’s encouraging, and inspiring, and very well-written.

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