Number ten (by Sue Townsend)

(Amazon UK link)

I suppose it was more than thirty years ago that I picked up and read Sue Townsend’s first (and best-known) book, the 'diary of Adrian Mole'. I recall being unimpressed, finding it somewhat sordid and dull rather than amusing. I read a couple of her other books shortly afterwards, and didn’t much like them either. 

So I’m not entirely sure why I decided to pick up her novel ‘Number ten’ at a church bookstall seven years ago. There are newspaper quotations on the front, saying that the book is ‘hilarious’, ‘comic’, lit by ‘warmth and wit’. Perhaps I thought I would give the author another chance. However I evidently didn’t get around to reading the book; I was rather shocked when I saw the date I wrote in the front after I bought it. 

I’ve finally read the book over the past few days, and will be returning it to the same bookstall. Perhaps someone else will appreciate it more than I did. 

The story involves a UK prime minister called Edward Claire (apparently modelled on the real Prime Minister Tony Blair, although I didn’t realise that until after I had finished). His cabinet think he’s out of touch with ordinary people, and he’s feeling a bit burned out. So he dresses up as a rather tarty woman, and goes undercover with his policeman friend Jack Spratt, on a tour of as many places in the country as they can find.

There’s a prologue that shows a young Edward, devastated when his mother dies after giving birth to his sister. I don’t think that reflects reality, and am not sure what the relevance is to either reality or the novel. The prologue also shows us Jack, who grows up in a family of criminals but is determined to work hard at school. and become a policeman. 

I assume that the various cabinet members are based on real politicians, too, but am not interested enough to research them. They all come across as rather caricatured, and very two-dimensional. I expect that Edward’s wife Adele must have been based on Tony Blair’s wife Cherie, but don’t recall anything about Cherie Blair having a huge nose. This is something that bugs Adele and is often mentioned in gossip magazines.

The tour, such as it is, is all rather depressing. The prime minister, known as ‘Edwina’ in his unlikely disguise, apparently enjoys dressing up as a woman. Jack has quite a hard time ensuring he doesn’t dress too provocatively. Jack is the voice of reason in the novel, and the only person I felt was somewhat realistic and three dimensional.

Apparently Sue Townsend disapproved of ‘New Labour’, and supposedly satirises it, and its effects, in this novel. But it doesn’t come across as even faintly amusing. It’s sordid, a terrible portrayal of life at its worst. It was first published in 2002, when Tony Blair was still prime minister. Jack’s own mother is a chain-smoker who takes in a drug addict and invests in a dodgy pyramid scheme. His older brother had died from heroin poisoning. Perhaps there were pockets of people like this - perhaps there still are. 

There were a couple of places where I could see some mild humour, and I did smile. But only a couple. The book was far from ‘hilarious’. It was rather depressing, in my view. I can see that it’s a good idea to have a prime minister travel around incognito and meet people far removed from his political circles, but nothing seems to happen, although towards the end he does suddenly wonder if he could introduce some useful facilities for the folk he has met. But he appears to be quite powerless as prime minister, and by the end is ousted.

‘Number ten’ was evidently a popular novel twenty years ago when it was somewhat topical. Perhaps people appreciated the caricatures of real people, which entirely passed me by when I was reading. Maybe other critics of ‘New Labour’ would have found this said the kinds of things they would like to have said themselves. And possibly it was more amusing when it was a current novel. It feels very dated now, with too many references that would go over most people’s heads. 

So I can’t personally recommend it, but don’t necessarily take my word for it.  It's still in print, so it must still be bought regularly. 

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