Listening to others (by Joyce Huggett)

(Amazon UK link)

I was looking through our bookcase of Christian books, and could not remember ‘Listening to others’ by Joyce Huggett. That’s probably because I hadn’t read it since 2007. I’ve reread it in the past couple of weeks, and thought it a well-written, encouraging and interesting book. 

It says on the front (and once or twice in the text) that it’s a sort of companion or sequel to another of the author’s books, ‘Listening to God’. I don’t have that one; it’s out of print, so unless I see it inexpensively in a charity shop, I won’t be reading it. 

But ‘Listening to others’ stands alone. It’s partly auto-biographical, charting the author’s own development as she learns to listen to and pray for other people. She begins by describing the environment where she grew up; not a wealthy neighbourhood, but a street where everyone knew everyone else. When anyone was ill, or in need, the neighbours rallied round. They were mostly not Christian believers, but - as Joyce Huggett realised later - were following Christ’s commands, providing listening ears, practical help and compassion.

The anecdotes continue as the author experiences crises, and observes what helps, and what doesn’t help. She also describes a lovely couple who opened their home to students and others, who listened without judging, and provided meals and friendship without any expectation of return hospitality. She says that they provided the ideal which, later, she and her husband tried to emulate in their own home. 

Further chapters talk about the dangers of being isolated in what we used to call ‘holy huddles’, rather than present in everyday life, and about the need for a listening ear for so many people who are hurting, grieving, confused or depressed. There’s a lot of teaching and explanations but they’re given in the context of the author attending courses and learning, herself, about counselling, praying for people constructively, and what to say as well as when to keep quiet and say nothing.

The assumption is made that all Christians should be available to listen, to advise if asked, and to provide practical help where needed. But she also acknowledges that some are called into this ministry, while most are not; yet we all have friends and acquaintances who go through difficult periods, and who may need a friend to be alongside them. 

I thought the advice given was sound, with reminders that some situations require professional help. She encourages cooperation between untrained listeners and those who have psychiatric or other qualifications. A good friend can help as much as some professionals, possibly more; yet there are some circumstances and situations where medication or psychiatric help may be needed. She urges her readers to listen not just to the person they are helping but to God, and also to be aware of signs that extra assistance may be needed. 

The writing is good, with a nice balance of personal reminiscences and anecdotes with Scriptural teaching, and psychological/counselling methods and techniques. It’s in an easy style, and I had no problem reading twenty pages or so each day - around a chapter at a time. I don’t know that I learned anything new; this kind of advice is quite widespread now, although it was less readily available fifty years ago when this book was first published. But it’s well presented, and very readable.

So for anyone interested in low-key Christian counselling, or with friends who need someone to listen, I would definitely recommend this book. 

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