I was just wandering (by Jeff Lucas)

(Amazon UK link)

I have liked every book I’ve read by Jeff Lucas. He’s a writer and speaker who was born and brought up in the UK, but now mostly works in the United States, where he works as a pastor. But he’s no fundamentalist - far from it - and he regularly admits to doubts, concerns and failures. 

The book ‘I was just wandering’ is another collection of his thoughts, each section no more than three or four pages long. I first read it in 2015. Books of this kind are interesting to read, sometimes thought-provoking, but I don’t tend to recall any of the details. So it was as if I were reading for the first time.

Jeff Lucas manages an excellent blend of anecdotes, commentary and references to Scripture in these thoughts. My auto-correct wants me to change ‘wandering’ in the title to ‘wondering’; yet I assume the word is deliberate. The author is not wondering about anything much, but wandering, in the sense of rambling or perhaps gentle hiking, through quite a diverse selection of topics.

The first little chapter, or section, however, is titled ‘I was just wondering’. The author confesses to having got into the cinema with his young grandson under false pretences… and then is struck by his grandson being totally transfixed by the cartoon they are watching. He ponders the loss of innocence which will inevitably follow, and then segues seamlessly into the wonder of Christmas. 

The second section starts quite dramatically with the author announcing that he has decided to abandon his Christian faith. And after some lengthy explanation, he tells us that it’s not Jesus he’s abandoning, or faith in general, but his particular form of faith. Instead he wants to move forward, putting away preconceptions and prejudices, to find more about the truth of God, in history and in the world today.

There’s a lot more; 34 sections in all. And I appreciated reading them all (usually three or four sections at a time) over the past couple of weeks. Yet there are none which I actually recall now. But glancing at the book to refresh my memory, I do remember (for instance) a section about being smug as a Mac owner, and another moving one about why his father refused to eat the skins of jacket potatoes. 

Other sections are equally diverse. The opening sections are designed to intrigue or interest, and the rest delivers some kind of unexpected thought, or encouragement, or insight. I hope that at least some of them have gone into my subconscious mind, to retrieve when appropriate.

My overall feeling after finishing this book is of reassurance. Jeff Lucas doesn’t come across as a super-saint, or a great intercessor, or even an excellent pastor. He admits to feeling nervous sometimes, irritated quite often, and regularly out of place. He acknowledges the tedium of some church services, and the tactlessness of some enthusiastic Christians who refuse to admit to pain or defeat.

And yet he manages to do this without judgement. He has a lot of admiration for those who power through their difficulties or disappointments. He wishes, sometimes, that he could be like those who are caught up in worship when he is bored with the repetition or trivial nature of some of the lyrics. He is an ordinary, honest and down-to-earth person who isn’t even particularly good-looking. Yet his writing is excellent, helpful and inspiring. 

Definitely recommended.

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